Everyone, everywhere, this month must have been tuned in to the phenomenon which was the Olympics. I must confess that I barely watched any of the events....timewise my life is constrained to mere snippets of freedom and, quite honestly, I didn't choose to spend the few seconds I have to myself watching supremely honed women powering along race tracks confirming both how inadequate my life has been and how doughy my thighs are. I did however see some snapshots and was duly inspired. And so it is that I have mentally committed to complete a Marathon in May next year (when I say complete this would include being unconscious in the rear of an ambulance for the last ten miles). Realistically I understant that I shall never achieve the svelte muscular configuration that these Olympian girls display, but then I doubt their inverted breasts and twelve packs would harbour a healthy baby either. And I have had four (Physically healthy but mentally questionable). The fact that I was doughy before motherhood is, naturally, irrelevant.
So yes, I am going to sign up for the Edinburgh Marathon in May next year. (Any criminals reading - this means that our house is easy pickings over that weekend. The down side being there are very few items of any significant value to be had but feel free to help yourself to a Hot Cross Bun from the freezer as we are desperate to use them up ).
Returning to the title of this epistle. Having or having not. Lately life is a real muddle. I say muddle rather than mess as mess would insinuate something which I am dissatisfied with. I'm not. I have come to understand over the last few years that perspective is essentially what predicates our happiness and my expectation of events is realistic at best; pessimistic more probably. Nothing....and I really do mean NOTHING surprises or shocks me anymore and I have accepted that I am about as in control of events as I was of the car when trying to race my brother's scalextric at the age of 7. Sometimes events just have a mind of their own.
What I feel acutely aware of today is.... well three things.
Firstly, that I belong somewhere other than where I am - attempting to blend in with the myriads of similarly aged folk, aspiring for material greatness and career satisfaction. I want to join a commune, where ideals are mutually appreciated, music is beloved, resources are pooled (along with a few other things which I can't mention on here for fear my in laws will denounce me) and deep/alternative thinking is welcomed.
Secondly, that I want a facility to eradicate prior error. Not just to alieviate guilt, but because, as far as I can see, most relationships struggle because parties cannot let go of the past and thus move forward. I watched a film many years ago (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) and felt total appreciation of the Directors insight into relationships. The concept is simple....if we could meet our current partner, freshly, with no recollection of past mistakes, we would fall in love with them once again. In reality love is tainted by recollection of fault. Sad but true.
And thirdly......that we all focus far too much on the have nots than the haves. When was the last time you looked at your life and felt satisfied listing all the wonderful attributes it holds? If you are anything like me then probably not very recently. Here's where I go all Jerry Springer-like - if only we could all, as human beings, look at the blessings/positives in our lives and ignore the negatives we would find ourselves in a most contented place.
I have laundry to do = I have clothes. I am overweight = I have food. I have marital differences = I have a husband. My husband is always at work = we have an income. My children are a nightmare = I have children, who are alive and well and healthily rebelling! I have a messy house = I have a home. You get the idea. And it IS cheesy, and trite and all things we hate. But more importantly it is true.
We all need to start looking at the haves. Ignoring the have nots. And finally finding the key to satisfaction.
Amen.
Returning to the title of this epistle. Having or having not. Lately life is a real muddle. I say muddle rather than mess as mess would insinuate something which I am dissatisfied with. I'm not. I have come to understand over the last few years that perspective is essentially what predicates our happiness and my expectation of events is realistic at best; pessimistic more probably. Nothing....and I really do mean NOTHING surprises or shocks me anymore and I have accepted that I am about as in control of events as I was of the car when trying to race my brother's scalextric at the age of 7. Sometimes events just have a mind of their own.
What I feel acutely aware of today is.... well three things.
Firstly, that I belong somewhere other than where I am - attempting to blend in with the myriads of similarly aged folk, aspiring for material greatness and career satisfaction. I want to join a commune, where ideals are mutually appreciated, music is beloved, resources are pooled (along with a few other things which I can't mention on here for fear my in laws will denounce me) and deep/alternative thinking is welcomed.
Secondly, that I want a facility to eradicate prior error. Not just to alieviate guilt, but because, as far as I can see, most relationships struggle because parties cannot let go of the past and thus move forward. I watched a film many years ago (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) and felt total appreciation of the Directors insight into relationships. The concept is simple....if we could meet our current partner, freshly, with no recollection of past mistakes, we would fall in love with them once again. In reality love is tainted by recollection of fault. Sad but true.
And thirdly......that we all focus far too much on the have nots than the haves. When was the last time you looked at your life and felt satisfied listing all the wonderful attributes it holds? If you are anything like me then probably not very recently. Here's where I go all Jerry Springer-like - if only we could all, as human beings, look at the blessings/positives in our lives and ignore the negatives we would find ourselves in a most contented place.
I have laundry to do = I have clothes. I am overweight = I have food. I have marital differences = I have a husband. My husband is always at work = we have an income. My children are a nightmare = I have children, who are alive and well and healthily rebelling! I have a messy house = I have a home. You get the idea. And it IS cheesy, and trite and all things we hate. But more importantly it is true.
We all need to start looking at the haves. Ignoring the have nots. And finally finding the key to satisfaction.
Amen.
