Spell Checker

Anonymous knows what I am talking about......for some reason the blog text editor is missing a spell check facility and yesterday I managed to slip in a mistake.  Did any others of you pick up on it, or are you all as illiterate as I?  Anonymous, are you sure you aren't my Mum?  She's the only person I can think of who is clever enough to notice.  When we were children she forever pulled me up on dropping my H's, slipping in 'aints' and using the colloquialism of "you know what I mean" after every sentence.  Personally I thought it made me sound rather cool but now in later life as I watch my twelve year old son doing a repeat performance "I ad maffs today for free hours mum, init" I understand her point.

And on that subject - Mum you need to close your ears now because the following information may well cause palpitations and stress related heart disease. 

Just got back from the most dodgy exercise stint ever.   All day I have been aware of the pressing need to get my session out of the way before darkness fell, but as there were a million and one equally pressing jobs to do around the house I simply couldn't drag myself away.  Chris and I (and the kids for a pathetically short spell) spent about six hours stripping the house of it's filth and restoring it to a more respectable condition.  I am now quite confident that were Kim & Aggy to pop in for coffee they would be most pleasantly surprised.  However all that cleaning meant that I didn't start my jog until almost five.   The good news is that I managed to go a whole 1.75 miles before needing to stop.  Even then it wasn't because I was struggling for breath but rather I had the most excruciating burning in my feet.  Started in my shins (so figured it was shin splints which I used to get lots in my past running life) but then it spread to my feet and toes.   Any runners out there have a clue what it may be????   And please don't say pressure of such heavy load bearing.

Anyway getting back to the story.   So I was doing really really well but then got all sore and had to start walking.  For some reason I then decided that rather than going back the way I had come, which was close to a main road, well lit and reasonably safe, I would go down a dark lonely footpath parallel to the motorway.  After all I was a woman alone, with no mobile, no alarm, no anything....just me, my sore feet and my MP3 Player.   OOoooooh that reminds me, I haven't mentioned yet that my beautiful baby bought me an IPod Shuffle as a gift today (no not Violet.....do you know any rabbits that have money?).   My actual baby, Euan.   I was just commenting this morning that I would like to listen to tracks whilst exercising and he went and bought me one.  Said I can use it for running and he will use it in the Gym, so it's only half mine, but very kind nevertheless.  He has way more disposable income than any one else in this house mind you, due to his highly enterprising albeit unethical sweet pushing at school.  

Once again I am digressing.  I am now half running/half walking at speed, spurred on by fear, continually looking behind me for any spooky strangers and thinking how absolutely stupid and careless I am and how utterly furious my Mum will be if something happens.......it also crossed my mind that should I meet such a dire end it would truly be a very ironic end to this blog.  I went through all the options of evasive action were I to find myself preyed upon, kicking, screaming, running etc but in the end decided that I would simply have to pathetically submit as I didn't have the lung capacity to do much else.

However as you have probably guessed I did manage to get home quite safely,  proving that even perverts are put off by the sight of a woman frantically jerking her head around every ten seconds and generally looking like she has tourettes.  (No offence).

Don't you just love it when people say that.... "No offence".  Euan frequently begins his sentences with "No offence, but....." which I have pointed out to him infact means "I am about to say something which I know is offensive but don't wish to get in to trouble for it".  Just like when I make statements such as  "I hate to be a gossip but did you know that ......." really means "I have something fantastically juicy to pass on, which I know I shouldn't but it is practically burning a hole in my brain", and "I don't wish to be two-faced but...." can be translated to "I really am a right back stabbing witch".  Somehow adding a disclaimer genuinely makes us feel better.   We're still going to burn in hell though.

And on that positive note I must leave you all.  We have been invited out for dinner tonight which is great except that I now have to prepare myself to sit watching everyone else enjoying their meals whilst I try to feel satiated on the one low calorie option, and when the menu says "low calorie" it usually means "tasteless, unsatisfying and generally half the portion size of the nice stuff".  Life is SO not fair.

Laters.