Pressure

I must start my post by commenting on a link sent to me by my mother today via Facebook.  "Is Stress making you Fat?", which she suggested I may find interesting.   Firstly, NO I don't think stress is making me fat.  What is making me fat is Maryland Cookies, Jam Doughuts, Sweet and Sour Chicken Balls, Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and my (former) complete disregard for the concept of  'you are what you eat'.   I'm sure you have all heard the joke; wife says "does this dress make my bum look big?" to which husband replies "no, your fat does".    Stress isn't making me fat.  Food is.  Plain and simple.   I am certain that my Mum's intentions were of love and concern, but she now has me paranoid about other links which may be heading my way....."is depression making your boobs sag?", "is psychosis giving you blackheads?", "is your husband's lack of comprehension of your workload making you an evil cow?".  Hmmmm probably.

Tomorrow is my first AAT exam and  I am about as prepared as I am for everything I do in life.  Today, instead of knuckling down to some serious revision, I have been wandering around Telford Town Centre rummaging through the remains of January's bargains.  All in all I managed to spend £30 on items I absolutely do not need but could not resist due to the 70% discount sign practically flashing in front of my eyes.  These include a teal wedding fascinator to match my silk teal dress which I bought in last year's sales and have as yet been unable to fit in to (primarily boob related - which is the one good thing about being overweight).  So,  I may well fail my exam in the morning but will definitely look super hot at the next wedding I attend, providing I shift some of my more wobbly bits.

Other pressures I am currently feeling are the need to earn some hard cash and/or sell my old house, the need to clean the home in which I currently live, the need to focus on my spiritual self (who is well and truly comatose at present), the need to spend more time with my children and make a conscious effort to spot what their needs are, the need to make my husband feel like I love him by performing conjugal duties, and the need to find more hours in the day so I can do all of the above.   Sometimes I HATE being female.  I honestly believe it would be better to be a man (mostly).  I wouldn't want to look like one or have to restrain myself from crying in public places but other than that I think they have it very easy.   They can shave their heads, be bald, wear zero foundation, put on the same clothes day in day out without attracting negative attention, fart in public, burp in public, stay away from the home most of the day, generally eat more than women and not gain weight, and as far as I can establish most of them don't have any major hangups about the way they look....even the ugly ones.   Conversely, regardless of how gorgeous any woman is she generally hates herself and wants to look like someone else.  Where does it all start I wonder?  Both of my girls currently find no greater satisfaction in life than to look at themselves in the mirror.  Somewhere along the line it all gets biffed, and I am guessing men have a part in it.....let's burn them all.

I am kidding of course.  Without men we would be lost........ at least we'd be allowed to ask for directions though.

And finally, well three points actually:

1) I have had no takers for the microwave. You are clearly all too well off so I shall be taking it to the dump at the weekend unless I hear otherwise.

2) Thank you to my anonymous commenter who states that she doesn't know me, but is clearly a better friend than any of you lot who do as she has actually left me

A COMMENT


Did you hear what I said??  Yes that's right


A COMMENT!

WOW!!

I am highly flattered anonymous that you are reading!  x x

3)  To those of you who have voted in my poll and admitted to having a secret crush.....just remember that Valentines is only a couple of weeks away so I expect you to put your money where your mouth is.  Male/Female....at this stage in life I am no longer fussy.

Wish me luck.