Fuming

I am so glad I have you to scream at today because quite frankly I am peed of to the limit and want to rip a certain person's head off.  There isn't much point entering in to the nitty gritty of what has brought me here, I am after all sending this in to the public domain and some things have to be kept private, but suffice to say that 'they' have pushed my buttons one too many times.....in fact this time I'd say they've actually pressed the large red one reserved strictly for a nuclear offensive.

Started out a fairly good day.    Last night we had two extras at our house, giving me six children's noise to listen to but still I managed to get a decent lie in this morning so can't complain.  Actually when I say six children what I should probably say is four children and a couple of semi-neanderthels based on the fact we are talking about teenage boys.  Whereas the girls involved themselves in activities such as dancing, singing, colouring and brushing each other's hair; the boys spent all night shooting their friends (on the Playstation) and speaking only in monosyllabics.  It's clear to me, even from such a young age, that relationships between male and female are doomed.  We are simply worlds, nay universes, apart.

Watched the new phenomenon which is "Glee" on E4's catch up channel, which was good fun... made me wish I had gone to an American High School though, rather than the sad effort known as the British Comprehensive..... not sure whether these programmes give a true depiction of the educational system over there but it occurs to me that whilst they have the Porsches, so to speak, we are driving around in an old Fiat 500.  I would have loved to explore my talents more at school, as it was the only gift I really developed was how to hide twenty Benson and Hedges down my skirt.  Somehow I doubt Piers and Amanda would think that screen worthy.

I really was terrible from about 14 years old.  Not naughty as such...that always seemed so pointless.  I was more of an anarchist - going against all the rules but in a mature way, or at least I thought so.  I had my own style, challenged the teachers if I felt they were wrong, went for a smoke in the toilets every break  and in my last year attended only 17 days out of 280.   How I got any qualifications I am not sure.   I was the only child who never got asked for notes of absence....my tutor would simply say "hello Bambi, nice to see you today, have you had a good time off, don't suppose you have a reason for it?  No, didn't think so, never mind" or words to that effect.  He was so chilled, but only with me which none of us ever could really understand.  I remember once he bumped in to me as I was walking out of the school gates on my way for a skive....didn't fuss, just said "I'll be seeing you then".  "Yes okay Sir, have a good day".   Sometimes I wonder if he had put his foot down whether I may have been more reticent to do the things I did.  Maybe he just genuinely felt I was a lost cause. 

Anyway....reminiscing over. 

Cleaned the house, went for our jog which didn't go so well, although saying that my disappointment is more related to the 'expectation gap' than a real absence of genuine achievement.  Four weeks ago if you had said we would be jogging five miles, albeit with a few walking breaks, I would have felt it was nigh on miraculous.  Now however I am expecting so much more from myself.  I wanted to do 2.5 miles without stopping, short rest, then finish the distance.  In reality it was 2 miles jog,  then walk, 1 mile jog, then Mcdonalds for a pee, 1/2 mile jog then walk, 1 mile jog then walk then 1/2 mile back jogging.  Just felt so interrupted and messy.  Plus I developed a severe burning in the middle toe of my left foot from about the two mile mark which was causing me all kinds of trouble.   Oh well I did entitle this blog "ups and downs" so I should expect there to be both.

As for stopping in Mcdonalds.  I couldn't believe the looks we got....some so blatent they may as well have just laughed in our faces.  No doubt we may have appeared ever so slightly strange, all purple headed and clobbered out in running gear, but still.  Perhaps they were merely laughing at the irony of two such wannabe fitness freaks stopping by at the quintessential heart disease joint?  Regardless  I was very tempted to stand on a table and pronounce their impending obesity and inevitable death due to high cholesterol, suggesting that it will be us who have the last laugh, ho ho ho.  I appreciate now how extreme that might have appeared.

Maybe I am just an extreme person.  I do tend to have an all or nothing approach to most matters, which I am beginning to feel is not a good thing.  Possibly if I were more objective I would see that a lot of the time I over-react to situations.  Potentially why I started this evening feeling like I were going to explode.  Now I am feeling much more calm.  Once again I can't reiterate enough how this blog is a stress busting experience.

So now I am off to go eat humble pie (well it's better than no pie atall I suppose) and watch some more "Glee".

Aaahhh