The Reading Festival.

Not to be confused with a sophisticated celebration of the literary arts ......where boden clothed women and blazer clad men discuss the merits of Tolstoy, Austen, Woolf, Orwell and Shakespeare.  THE READING FESTIVAL is a celebration of musical talent, INCREDIBLE talent yet marred by the presence in the audience of the largest chav conglomeration I have ever seen in one place.  Not wishing to appear all aged and unhip, yet probably about to do precisely that,  I felt my experience of the event was tainted by the witnessing of children (technically adults but in my minds eye far from that) attired in what can only be described as threads of fabric......girls in denim shorts cut so high and tight  that I considered it necessary to provide free samples of Canestan and topless boys routinely whipping out their tackle in what I can only assume was an attempt to impress but which inspired in me only my gag reflex.

And then there were the toilets.  These, I believe were indicative of the problems in the world today.  When I was younger, attending various festivals, I distinctly remember there being an unspoken comprehension that the boys toilets were naturally foul but the girls at least had the decency and decorum to wipe, flush and clean as necessary.  You just knew that in the ladies you would be greeted by fresh loo roll, pleasant smells and a dry toilet seat.  Somehow over the last 20 years though girls have ceased being female and have joined the men in becoming neanderthol animalistic dirt bags.  We saw toilet seats smeared with faeces, used tampons discarded on the floor, urine in the sinks and women doing stuff in cubicles which should only be saved for the most intimate venues.  It occured to me that I would prefer my daughters to come home and confess to murder rather than turn in to one of these cretinous creatures.  When did we girls get so equal we turned in to men?

And furthermore the litter.....my mother raised me never to ditch my rubbish anywhere other than a bin, so I have to admit to feeling traumatised at the sight of 90,000 people discarding their waste wherever the fancy took them.  There were moments when the urge to scoop it all up was overwhelming and I almost donned a high viz vest grabbed a roll of black bags and started my one woman mission to preach the 'bin it' message.   In the end I abandoned my urges and satisfied myself with fantasies of public executions for the main culprits. 

Aside from the general debauchery, drug taking, nudity, foul language, moronic behaviour, crass speaking and filthy personal hygiene, I did witness some of the most incredible musical talent I have ever seen.  I was moved to tears on a few occasions and really did feel that the perfect life for me would be one where materialism was done with and music reigned free. 

Also one where anyone with an IQ less than 100 is automatically euthanised.