"Are you disgusted with your weight?"....that was the question being posed to Martin via my inbox this morning. What is with this poor unfortunate man? Overweight, in debt, out of work, possessor of small penis, wants breast enlargements and within the last three years had a serious accident for which he needs to claim, apparently. Still on the bright side 'Heidi' has been sending a lot of messages recently informing him "I'm hot" and "I've been watching you" so perhaps his luck is about to improve, unless of course she is an axe-wielding stalker.
Please tell me that I am not the only recipient of this trash. And yes I do have a spam filter but it's useless.
Size wise, I am not a happy bunny. To be perfectly honest I am not sure what I really expected considering the amount of utter filth I have eaten this last week. I fully deserve the three and a half pound gain, but as is typical of my thought pattern I was kind of hoping I could revert to my nasty habits only this time with a different outcome, which apparently is only a step short of insanity. And so it is time to call a halt and get back on that fat busting band wagon.
I was looking through my diary today, whilst in Church supposedly listening to a lovely lady extolling the power of prayer over the RAC, and found my 'weight goal chart' - a strict schedule I had set myself at the start of my endeavours. Rather depressingly I am supposed to be 7 stone 13 this Wednesday! I joke of course....I haven't aspired to be that weight since the last time I was (aged 20 and dating a hideous man by the name of Colin Knight and yes I am happy to name and shame the beast) and my work colleagues kindly told me I looked like a walking skeleton. But I was hoping to be around the 11 stone mark and I am now back to 12 because of my little blip.
The good news is I can fit back in to my size fourteens. Actually that also is a slight untruth. I can fit back in to some of them. On Saturday I went in search of a few items whilst at Cheshire Oaks and tried on several pairs of black trousers in size fourteen. Only one pair actually fitted, so naturally they were the ones I bought regardless of whether they even looked any good. So much of my happiness is dependent upon those two little numbers on the clothing label.
I also found a beautiful purple silk dress which was reduced from £85 to a tenner (purchase justification number 1). Sadly it was a choice between a size 16 (too large) and a size 10 (way too small). So I bought the small one in the vain hope that I can lose a bit of bustage and get in to it eventually. The bottom part fits because it's a loose design, but the top is ridiculous and squishes my boobs so badly I look like I have a third stomach.
And talking of boobs. Have any of you ever been measured for a bra? I try to do this regularly as my body is a constantly changing entitity. On Saturday I went to the Wonderbra shop and had a resize. Last time I got measured I was a 36E (January). A stone lost and now I am a 32FF. This is nonsense. I am hoping their bras are just small (although she measured me with a tape measure and I'm fairly certain they are pretty standard?) because at this rate I shall get to ten stone and be a double G. Great fun for Chris, but not good for the purple dress issue.
Anyway now you know my weight, my bust measurements, my monthly menstrual cycle and mental health issues I feel extremely beholden to you in many respects. Perhaps you can repay me by voting in the poll and influencing my decision as to where to place my actual fought for by the suffragettes and shouldn't be wasted vote. Although I rather like my mum's idea of attending the polling station simply to register my distaste and disatisfaction with each party by spoiling the ballot??
Comments please x x
Aha.....maybe THERE you have it....it's all about ASSOCIATION ! I was at my thinnest ( under 8 stone and with a willowy 22 inch waist ) at the time in my life I was also the UNHAPPIEST. The gradual, but relentless, weight gain has gone hand-in-hand with my escape to a much happier place in my life. But...just as a man is NOT his bright red Ferrari, I AM NOT MY WEIGHT. ( well, yes, I know I AM my weight but....you get the drift ! )
ReplyDeleteMaybe you need to sever a connection ? There is food for thought.
Bit of advice though....I know figures figure large in your life ( maths etc) but dump the ones on the scales and inside clothing.....they mean nowt but what someone else wants them to mean.
As for voting....the scoundrels now creeping around pretending to care about "The People" in order to scrounge votes need a jolly good rap on their snouts, all of them. Once in power they dump "The People" and do as they please. They are seducers. Well they ain't seducing moi.
Bart Simpson would be better.
Oooooh ! Just HAD to comment on something left on last comment section ! Huge savings made by supermarkets will lead to lower prices ????? Dear oh dear. Will lead to higher profits /payouts to shareholders, thats what Capitalism is all about. The unemployment pile gets bigger while the fat-cats get fatter. I for one do not want to be a part of it. I would rather pay more and have a fair society than ever get the "bargain" that has cost a fellow being their job.
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