Little Monsters

Okay, so you're all voting on my poll and I am beginning to feel concerned.  Five of you think Chris should have a concubine for Valentines.  Do you even know what a concubine is?  Not some exotic form of cigar I can tell you.  I appreciate I am always complaining about how demanding he is in one particular area, but really.   The remainder of voters feel I should get him "something else" yet even though I have asked you to give me suggestions I have received precisely none.   Thus I conclude that my audience may be ever so slightly dumb, and not in the non-speaking sense of the word.  Come on now, I have about thirty hours left to think of something entertaining and original, help me out please.

Perhaps I should combine all four options.  Have a one legged prozzer jump out of a ginormous box of chocolates, shotgun in hand and blow his head off.  I'm kidding of course.  As if I would pay someone else to do a job I am quite capable of myself.  

Chris provides me with hours of entertainment, daily, and I wouldn't wish to be without him.  Today I heard him on the telephone trying to negotiate a better salary from his new Employer, only to be told that the figure he was requesting was the one they had already offered.  He then ended the conversation by saying "See you Dan" to a man named Matt.  I am seriously worried about him and how he is going to cope, but it was funny nonetheless!  

What also worries me incredibly, aside from world poverty, my families' future and whether or not the Glee Club will in fact win at Nationals, is the child formerly known as Euan.  I am beginning to not recognise him.  Every day he seems to sink further and further in to the quagmire of bad attitude known as puberty and it scares me.  I went to work today and was interrupted by about seventeen texts from him and his dad relaying to me an argument they were having.  Euan had been really very rude so Chris was refusing to pick him up from school.  Usually he gets the bus home but he had forgotten his pass and had no cash on him.  (Incidentally this is because his 'Sweets R Us' enterprise has been shut down.  The Student Support Officer nobbled him and supposedly threatened him with expulsion.  In the words of his teacher "think yourself lucky son....if it had been chewing gum you were selling you'd be out of here".  Chewing gum being on the list of banned substances at Thomas Telford.  Personally I think they are all being a little melodramatic and told them as much when they rang to say "Mrs Ford, we have today CAUGHT Euan selling........................sweets".  Oh that's alright I said, I thought for a moment you were going to tell me he was trying to sell  my methamphetamine.  Personally I believe it is highly enterprising and entrepeneurial of him so they'll not be seeing any fury from me).  Anyway getting back to the argument, I was quite beginning to fear for Euan's safety and well being.  And I know that this is merely the appetiser. 

Why did God make teenagers?

Right then better be off as we have our Tenants over for dinner tonight and I am cooking. Quite why I am not sure.  Nothing I make is ever that edible.

Did manage a good work out today of which I was rather proud.  Was fully saturated at the end and apparently had burnt off a whopping 313 calories.

Deep fried Camembert in Breadcrumbs, here I come.