Truth is

Subjective at best.

Just got home from a Valentine's meal, which was lovely (thanks to Esther if you're reading) not least of all because it was a free night out!  During the evening we were asked to write a few words about our better half, listing something kind, thoughtful, generous or admirable about them, which would then be read out at the end.  It was very thought provoking listening to the words of others and their view of their loved one.  Especially encouraging was the fact that no-one was inebriated and therefore, presumably, it was all genuine sentiment.  It did make me feel ever so slightly inadequate though.

Some were gushing about their soul mate, whom they knew was the 'one' from the moment they met; some told of coming home to fully prepared dinners, receiving a bathtime backscrub (without asking) and generally being treated like royalty.  Others told of their partner's unending support, encouragement and devotion, declaring their undying, unchanging love.

Damn it then. What is wrong with me?  The other day I was in Hallmark trying to find a Valentine's Card for Chris and spent a good hour trying to find one which i felt told the truth.   I kept picking up cards, reading the verse and wishing that it summarised the way I felt, but knew it didn't.  Verses like "you make me feel so special and always show you care, you know just how to cheer my day by simply being there" honestly didn't cut it.  Why doesn't anyone tell the truth in cards.  Or is my truth so different to the masses? 

H for the headaches you've caused me to fake
A for the advice I've sought from RELATE
P is what happens whenever I cough (because of all the children I've given you)
P is also the word I like to say "OFF"
Y for whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy did I ever say Yes
V for the fingers I wave at your mess
A is for aaarrrgggghhh I just want to scream
L living nightmare not wedding day dream
E for emotions; good, bad, high and low
N for I need you, though I don't let it show
T for the good times -  there have been a lot
I will admit that I love you, you grot
N nothing as precious or harder for sure
E each day different and never a bore
S for the sex, yes I had to get rude
D for the masses of debt we've accrued
A for the always, all ways and all weathers
Y is the Yaaay that we're still together (for now anyway).

Or something like that.  I'm sure if I had longer I could create a much more colourful version.  An honest to goodness been married for fifteen years type valentine message.

Meanwhile I will just have to tell myself that other's exaggerate the greatness of their relationships so that I can actually sleep tonight.  Please, if I am wrong, don't bother to enlighten me.

It's a shame I have shared all my negativity once again; when I woke this morning I really felt that I needed to concentrate my efforts on writing more uplifting material.  No-one really wants to listen to Bambi complaining for the eightieth time about the lack of marital bliss going down in her home.  And  tonight's blog may well have been uplifting if I hadn't just had to sit through twenty couples' comments on why their partner is the best 'wife, mother, husband, lover, boyfriend, father, dog-owner, nappy-changer or cook in existence'.    Perhaps I should have stood up and said "well my husband isn't any of those things, but he's a great shag so hey ho".

Or maybe I will save that comment for our April Fools Dinner.