Heatwave

No I am not about to make a prediction for the forthcoming weather and promise you that eagerly anticipated B-B-Q summer we've been awaiting these past two decades.  But if you are seeking a getaway location which is incredibly hot, close by and relatively cheap (£7.70 return from Shifnal) then Kaplan Financial Birmingham is your best bet.  This morning I have been in again to do a few more sessions and quite frankly I think I now have heat stroke.

The room we were in, although supposedly air conditioned, was literally a degree away from sauna status.  And with the heat came that insuppresible urge to nod off.  Now it's one thing to fall asleep during a lesson where you are just one of many students, but catching 40 winks at the front of the class during an exam you're supposed to be invigilating enters a whole new league of unprofessionalism. 

Apparently there was a blockage in the duct system, naturally only affecting Room 12, the computer room and the room I was to be in.  As Travis would sing "why does it always rain on me?" or rather in this case "why when, for a change, I actually wish it would rain on me, does it not".  And yes it probably is because I lied when I was seventeen, and eighteen, and nineteen, and thirty six.

Of course I probably should have felt more sympathy for the poor examinees busy trying to focus their minds whislt slowly being cooked in this room scale version of a crock pot.  But then it is Accountants we're talking about, and not just any old Accountants either.  These were the M&S of the accounting world so to speak, the Special Forces of number crunchers, the ICAEW's.  A breed so staid, dour and emotionally repressed they are practically adding machines.  Beyond all point of feeling, humour and social grace.  So no I didn't feel too badly for them at all.  Why is it that you so frequently find great intelligence walks hand in hand with social ineptitude.

And talking of such matters, I am once again astounded at the results of my poll, so far.  How can it be that you are all so unified in your desires and wants for a companion?  Until this morning 100% of voters felt that Kindness and Good Humour are the best combination of personality traits to have.  I'm not sure I agree.  Dogs can be amusing and kind/loving but you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one now would you?   To me the phrase "Good Humoured and Kind" conjurs up the image of the type of man who when you talk about him you end each sentence with "ahhhh bless".  The pre-historic  genetic perfection seeker in me reckons this is not the kind of man you want in times of crisis.  Still on the other hand you wouldn't want some clever hunk either if he beats you up on a daily basis, or someone rich and kind but totally wet.

No, two qualities simply aren't enough.  My perfect other half would be intelligent, wise, patient, gritty, comical, charitable, strong, always heavier than me and endowed with wads of cash.  Looks barely come in to it.  In my dreams perhaps.

Anyway I suppose I'd better be off and do some real work, chores, living.  It's now less than 18 hours until D-day and I am beginning to weaken with worry.  Usually I am rock solid when it comes to pain but this really is my Achilles Heel - I only wish it was my foot being prodded.  But yes I agree with anonymous that a smear is better than the alternative, Cervical Cancer, which no doubt would involve far more unpleasant invasions.

Definitely should have been born a bear.  Never see them in the Doctors with their legs in the air now do you?