Wednesday 3 March 2010

With bated breath..

Bated being the correct spelling, and a shortened version of the word 'abated' for those of you wondering about my grammar here, and definitely preferable to the alternative of halitosis.  Although I'm not actually convinced it is anticipation that I'm feeling right now, could simply be utter dread giving me this butterfly tingle in my gut and overwhelming urge to race to the toilet.  Or love perhaps. 

I am becoming increasingly aware that my first race is only hours away.   86 hours to be precise.  And my body is starting to come out in protest.  Adding to my desperation is the fact I received a telephone message tonight from my tennants, who have also become our friends, informing me that they would like to come along and support the event.....i.e. watch.  Crap.  The reason I chose such a remote location for a race (in the nether reaches of Oswestry) was to ensure my anonymity and hopefully guarantee I should never have to see the witnesses to my humiliation ever again.  The fact that it is a 'Help the Heroes' fund raiser meaning scantily clad military types lurching around the course exposing their rippling biceps and highly toned abs is a mere bonus. 

So now I am in a dilemma.  Risk offending my friends, or allow them to come and have what will surely prove to be a most harrowing and life changingly traumatic experience.......the sight of my bottom in lycra is not an image easily forgotten - not without some kind of hypnotherapy at least.  And of course the pressure for me to finish will be tenfold with my groupies in attendance.  Suzanne & Alan if you're reading this, yes you can come, but only if you both wear blindfolds. 

Been at College again today obtaining the next unit of my course, the objective of which is to construct a four thousand word project identifying any significant flaws within my workplace.  Well as my place of work is our home, this should be rather simple.  Firstly why are there children running in and out of my office at all hours of the day and night placing unreasonable demands on me, secondly why am I expected to play the role of book-keeper, cleaner, cook, tea maker, delivery man, chauffeur and general dogsbody, thirdly why is my internet connection so prehistoric that I have to turn the computer on eight hours before I wish to use it, fourth why is my pay massively below the minimum wage and fifth(ly?) why is my working week three times the legally allowable length - and that's just for starters.   Something tells me that's not the information they seek.

Anyway it's getting late(ish).  Actually I am lying, it isn't even nine 'o' clock, but it feels late and tomorrow morning Corrinna and I are going to try a very serious attempt at completing a practice 10k.  Therefore I really do need to get some sleep.  I am trying to avoid bed however because Chris is already in it and we all know what that means.  Wondering if I should just get a blanket and go lay down near the rabbit.

Incidentally, Chris has told me I should change my poll.  He wants you all to vote on whether I should continue to write this blog or use the time for something more constructive each day.....oh I wonder what he could be referring to.....let me see. Perhaps the thing he refers to incessantly almost every hour of his waking life.  And probably when he dreams too.  Or doing it even.  You know a few years back he once told me off for waking him up mid-dream and mid-stream so to speak.  I must admit I felt rather hurt at the thought of disturbing his infidelity even if it was only during a period of REM.  How unreasonable of me......especially seeings as the 'dream' girl was a tall leggy blonde.  Shame.   Nowadays however I keep my fingers crossed each night that he will find her again!! 

And then I keep something else crossed!!

2 comments:

  1. Yes, you definitely SHOULD continue to write the blog. Sounds a bit too much like control for someone else to suggest otherwise. It is very entertaining, very funny and/or thought provoking. It is a vehicle to help sift ideas and to consolidate stuff. There is often unwitting testimony of what gives (or doesn't give ) in life. Yours.

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  2. Oswestry......a lovely place and not far enough to prevent your friends from popping round to give you some support! Honestly, we don't just want to have a look at you in a lycra suit although I'm sure you'll look pretty hot in it. Just think back to the 17th century and the famous painter Peter Paul Rubens. Women like you and me, the curvy and well proportioned sort, were his favourite.You being the well proportioned one with a good ass and good tits as Trinny and Susannah would say. My huge bottom and thighs, combined with a minimalist chest is not exactly what I would call well proportioned but I'd like to think that Rubens would hire me anyways. Born a few centuries too late, that's all!

    Anyways, we just want to come along to cheer you on,it always helps to have a bit of peer pressure as it will spur you on to continue running as it would be too embarassing to just collapse in front of your friends or anybody watching the race for that matter. At least that's what pulled me through my half marathon, I didn't want anyone to think I was a quitter and oh yes, I was in agony for the last 2 miles but I just had to keep on going as there were rows of people watching me, even though I probably looked pathetic!

    Anyways, I'm sure you will do it on Sunday, a strong minded woman like you can achieve anything. Let us know if we can sponsor you!

    Good luck,
    Suzanne xxx

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